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Inside-out C.O.U.P.L.E. storyline of revealing the man I really am!

There has been many times in my life that I have sensed that I am at a crossroad.  There are times that I don’t understand why things happen as they do.  I am realizing that the storyline that has been working in the last year or so has been about revealing the man/individual who I am right now, the changes that I need to make to be the man I envisioned for so long, but haven’t acted upon the behaviors and/or performances needed to reach that vision.  Pray with me that I can listen to His word, and my heart, who listens to His Spirit.

I’ve enjoyed politics, and the dynamics of it.  Because of that, I realize that sometimes we can fall into the trap of doing stuff just because it sounds good, just like a politician.  I know that I have committed those standards in the past.  It’s been my stubborn nature that has been so dominant.

I realize that I’m writing this on April 1^st, April Fool’s Day.  Maybe it takes a day like this to realize what changes I need to make.   With all the behaviors in my life, I realize that it’s all about what I need to do, and what actions I have influence upon throughout my daily tasks needed to be accomplished, especially, at home.  Lately, the many hours at work haven’t helped, but it was necessary for the company.

I was offered to watch a video conference of the male/female differences by Dr. Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs.  I learned a lot of perspectives which I have not treated my Sunshine the way that shows that I am obedience and reverence to God.  There are so many changes in my behavior that needs to happen.  I need to live by the acronym, C.O.U.P.L.E..  

This is what the acronym stands for:

• CLOSENESS. When You Want to be with her FACE-TO-FACE. Genesis 2:24

• OPENNESS. When you aren't secretly MAD at her. Colossians 3:19

• UNDERSTANDING. When you EMPATHIZE with her. 1 Peter 3:7

• PEACEMAKING. When you RESOLVE/RECONCILE with her. Matthew 19:5-6; 1 Corinthians 7:3-4.

• LOYALTY. When you are completely COMMITTED to her.

• ESTEEM. When you TREASURE her above all else. 1 Peter 3:7

It’s not what she needs to do, but what I need to do.  Has anyone watched this video, or attended the conference in person?  I pray that I can make the changes needed, as I pray for more married couples do the same.  Let me say that if anyone wants to really know what kind of man you are—I am—just get married.  But in the long run, it’ll all be for the glory and honor of what it means to have that personal relationship with Christ.

Facing life on our own?

It’s a wonder that with the technology we have there are many people, like myself, who sometimes feel in any given circumstances that we are facing all our challenges in life on our own.  I read it many times in the stories on the news and the posting on the Internet.  Even at work, as much as companies encourage teamwork, it’s really about everyone for themselves.  Or am I wrong? 

In our personal lives we are treated like a number to get more “friends” on social networks.  Probably, most of the time there is really no real connection.  In our professional lives, most of the time we are treated as just a number because we are asked to “produce results” to keep our jobs. 

Ron Shaich, the co-founder and executive chairman of Panera Bread has an article in the Nation’s Restaurant News, suggests that progressive companies need to compensate managers who are “profit centers driving long-term customer satisfaction and value creation,” and paying hourly employees “for long-term performance rather than viewing labor cost to be reduced.”

I would suggest to the human resource executives and managers everywhere.  As Ron Shaich says, retain the managers and employees who have integrity as a jewel possession.  The skill can always be taught with the right mindset.  With that in mind, these managers and employees will definitely produce the results.  It is really hard to find honest employees today with a teachable heart.  The values that anyone has is more important than the end results that people can provide for any company, because without integrity and honesty the results will not be long-term profit centers years and years to come.

On the personal side, we—including myself—have to just work on being more accessible to those who matter to us on a weekly/daily basis because we are the living instruments of the character of Jesus Christ.  It’s about being real to them and being something that would make them feel that we are not alone in the world facing the challenges in life on our own.

Forty-five months that changed my life … Prayer to change it more!

Its forty-five month-meeting anniversary since I met my Sunshine.  I know that throughout all those months, and even after my marriage there is sooo much more I need to do to lead as a husband.  Recently, Sanctus Real has come out with a song called Lead Me.  The following link is my prayer to my wife on an on-going basis, as I focus on being “filled with the [Holy] Spirit.” Ephesians 5:18

Download SanctusRealLeadMePrayerforHusband

Leading a married couple, family, or business is an awesome responsibility.  It is the order that was determined from the beginning of time.  I realize that more than ever now.  I suggest that it should be a prayer of all men in this nation.  Our neighborhoods will be a “better” place to live.  I know that I look at this responsibility in a different light, a much deeper meaning than just a while ago.  It is conviction to not live by my natural tendencies of the flesh, but to walk in the Spirit.

It’s a soul-searching week or so …

It’s been a very tough week or so of soul-searching because of challenges at work.  The demands are high and the time is limited.  I know that it’s happening for a reason, and if it’s just to learn what changes I need to make within me to be a “better” individual who will contribute more into society than it’ll be all worth it.  If the challenges at work will open my eyes to understand the improvements or changes needed to get closer to the oneness supported in the Bible to  strengthen my marriage, than I am all for it.  I know that I’ll be a stronger “man” for going through all of this.  I have no doubt about it.

The only sad note that I have in all of this, as it is happening, my Sunshine and I are committed to travel to Bristol, Tennessee for the Nationwide and Cup race this weekend, and our week-long vacation next month to Florida.  Please pray that all things will work out for those who love Jesus. 

What happened to accountability within your circle of influence? … Leaders look for solutions, not blame

In our present culture, I’ve noticed that we have just stopped holding others accountable. 

I remember I used to have a proclamation when I was a General Manager of a restaurant: When coached about a performance behavior that needs correction or redirection, instead of responding with blame and/or excuses, offer innovative solutions or planned results.

Accountability is so lacking all over, as I observe.  There is no accountability for the front line workers like servers, grill cooks, and prep people by many company’s human resource positions.  Eighteen months into his presidency, our U.S. president is still blaming the previous occupant for the economy, instead of working out on a coalition to solve our economic challenges that competes in the world economy.  It’s the same as assembly line employees at a car manufactures, as the line employees have job security without doing more—just what the unions negotiated.  Thanks for the movement of the unions who have carried the abuse of work conditions too far.  The American people have apathy about holding our elected officials accountable for the votes they cast.  They may do, but the next election cycle the same `ol elected lawmakers are still in office, perpetuating the same `ol policies that haven’t worked! 

We need to do what a taxpayers did confronting a lawmaker.  A taxpayer was asking a U.S. Congressman Pete Stark (D-CA) about the constitutional limits in our citizen’s lives, if the President Obama’s health care passes constitutional muster.

“The federal government yes, can do most anything in this country,” replied U.S. Congressman Pete Stark.

If you don’t believe in what the Congressman said, we, the American people need to stand up against this type of mentality.  We need to stand for rewarding innovations, growth, and hard work.  We shouldn’t reward the movement that everyone demands the same lifestyle.  We do need to help one another on a local level, in small communities, or one-on-one—not being coerced into paying taxes so that the federal government can redistribute our wealth of our nation.

I do admit that on a day-to-day basis, I am constantly held accountable for what happens by my lovely wife.  It’s a new experience, no doubt, for me because I’ve been on my own for most of my adult life.  I also know that I am accountable to the blueprint of the teachings of the Bible.  It’s not living by the dos and don’ts.  It’s a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, understanding what that relationship entails, and knowing that He has grace and peace that surpasses all human understanding when we put Him first!  I know being accountable is good because it’s making me more, custom-made to the image that God would like me to be!

“Staying close” to home for one-week vacation …

During this one-week vacation, my Sunshine and I didn’t go outside of our home town.  We stayed around town and visited with my mother-in-law, who visited from Florida, over at my brother-in-law’s house, which lives here.  It was good to spend time with them, mostly, watching Harry Potter movies over and over again!  I didn’t know there are so many details translating a book to a movie!  I even had a home-cooked meal last night!

In another thirty hours, I will be back to work, eleven-to-fourteen hours a day, five-days-a work week.  It surely brings me sadness, because it’ll be back to the life I’ve known so well for many months of constant challenges and test of ability of flexibility.  It’s been surely a good testing of my stretching of my individual abilities.  God has a reason for these flexible decisions multiple times during a day for me.  At least, I finished one book, “Staying Close,” by Dennis Rainey and, at this point almost halfway into another one, “Everyone Communicates, Few Connects,” by John Maxwell.  It’s been a good week of learning about ME! 

Two comforting Scriptures during a tough ten straight work days!

It’s been a tough week of work.  I have completed seven out of the ten straight days of work.  I have three more to go!  It started on last Sunday night when our US House of Representatives passed the health care reform bill.  Let me say first off that I don’t want anyone to suffer because they don’t have the funds to pay for health care.  But it goes to what I have grown up believing: if you want to get something, you have to pay for it!

It was really difficult getting motivated to work during the last seven days and looking forward to the next three.  I really started to dwell on the fact that I’ve worked a minimum of ten hours a day, five days a work week, trying to earn a living, when others just work the “system” to get what they want for some times free.  Let me just say that for those who are disabled they deserve the help, for those unemployed they need a helping hand, but it should never be permanent, an excuse not to work at all if they are able to do so.

But there are at least two questions that need to be considered:

• Who is paying for all the additional health care benefits and for the additional people who didn’t have any last month?
• How is the millions who are headed to the Doctors’ offices going to get health care when there is areas in the nation that have a supply shortage, and long waits for visits for health care right now?

It’s great to provide benefits that everyone needs—or wants—but how are we going to execute the plan to the end?  The news that I read hasn’t really addressed these questions.  So we just created a freight train with not enough tracks to keep the train going!  I guess our leaders will just find a way to tax us more to keep the bill signed by our President going somehow.  If not, we’ll wait longer for our health care needs!

During the week, in a regular e-mail I receive for encouraging Scripture, I receive this message from 1 Corinthians 15:58: “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless. (NLT)

The one comfort was in this Scripture that I ran across on Sunday night, a week after the funk that I’ve been feeling.  2 Timothy 1:13: "Hold on to the pattern of wholesome teaching you learned from me—a pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus. (NLT)  I like this translation of the Scripture because of the words put together: “pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus.”

Thank you for Your Word to get me through a rough, motivating week at work.

Rank my top 7 personal stories of 2009 for a prize!

I thought that I would challenge all of you to rank my top seven stories of 2009. 

 

These are the seven stories to consider in no particular order:

• Move from Memphis;

• The return to two tracks, at Texas and Bristol Motorspeedway, on the NASCAR circuit;

• Trips to Northern Atlanta: El Pollo, Costco, IKEA, and Buford Marketplace;

• “Weekend to Remember” conference;

• Working with new colleagues, a new boss;

• Joining Facebook;

• “In Search for Colors” Blue Ridge, Connecticut & Washington D.C. trip. 

 

There is a prize at the end, if anyone dares to even try to read my mind.

Think Win-Win the Homebuilders "Closing the Loop" in Conflict way ...

This author marvels in the ability to get to know others instantaneously who are more miles away than the drive from one part of the island of Oahu to the other side because of the Internet. It is always my hope and prayer that we all can get along "better" than we did the day before! Why do we put up walls not to truly understand each other, commit to say what we mean and mean what we say? We need to live with what I'm learning in my Homebuilders series: Prepare our hearts for what is to come; confront each other lovingly; seek to forgive one another; and the last goal, regaining trust with one another. We need to think win-win!

“Weekend to Remember” worth the registration fee and time: What type of Legacy will you leave?

The registration fee of the “Weekend to Remember” workshop is something most couples can’t afford during these difficult financial times, but I truly believe that it was worth it to answer this question: what type of legacy will you leave?  There were about 600 attendees that decided to make a commitment to oneness in our God-centered marriage.  Even if you think that you’re not having any serious arguments, fist-fights, and yelling matches, I would still recommend many married couples attend this weekend conference.  It’s worth the time, and money.  I believe that it’s an investment for the spouses, family, and society are worth the sacrifice for a while.  There are too many broken families, and this workshop provides a blueprint of how we should interact with one another, what our roles are in a marriage—and our positive impact with our community and society.

Without giving too much of the conference, because I believe that it has to be experienced, listening to the speakers, being active in taking notes by filling in the blanks, completing the projects, (even one that I had to write a love letter in long-hand) to really get the full effect of the conference.  The only way that you’ll get the most out of workshop, is to be truly active in paying attention and searching our own hearts.  It’s worth the soul-searching and keeping on the schedule.  Every marriage is different and every married couple will get something different from the conference. When you leave the conference and face the real world, it’s the persistence of leaving a life’s legacy more important than just living for my own self-centered perspective will be tested, which I know, is more important for those around us.